Tuesday, February 06, 2007
Because We're All Talking About It!
I have made it a point throughout my life to never date astronauts.
Over the years, some acquaintances were quick to deride my orthodox, astronaut-avoiding dating habits (Everybody dates women who work at Parisian's, or BAMM, Wilsonizer; why don't you do something wild and, say, ask an astronaut out?"); others thought my exclusion of astronauts from the black book another manifestation of ingrained New England snobbery. But regardless of what people thought or said, I stayed the hell away from that astronaut stuff, and I've never looked back. Until today, that is.
Hopefully the readers of this blog, who respect the approach taken when discussing issues of foreign policy and military affairs, will heed this prescriptive advice: don't mess around with astronauts, especially the chicks! They take it all seriously, and they play for keeps.
There's my advice to you, beloved readers, and I hope you stay on the righteous path like the Wilsonizer, lest some diaper wearing, field grade, middle-aged, Nasa-certified, space trucking female decides you've wronged her, and that no matter what the odds she is going to make you pay.
UPDATE: Wonkette has more, and apologies to my readers if I just can't find any seriousness in this topic; psycho astronaut stories on every cable news channel all day long are like bigfoot sightings; you've got to make the most of them while they last, and rejoice when they're not proven to be a hoax!
UPDATE 2: Questions of the story's staying power over at Freakonomics.